The Glass Wall

It’s a somewhat abstract title, I will admit. However, it perfectly sums up how I feel at the moment. 

I feel like I’m behind a wall of glass and although I can see and hear life going on as normal around me, I am the other side of the glass and I cannot touch it or engage with it. I’ve struggled with issues of depression for years, but it’s come to what I refer to as a ‘flashpoint’ for the second time in my life. I’m being forced to stop and slow down, to rest and to look at my lifestyle and how I can help myself. I’ve come to the conclusion that I haven’t been taking care of myself as much as I should have been. I’m always first to help other people, and in the past I have willingly put the needs of almost everyone else before my own – but it has resulted in this. Again. Perhaps I need to learn how to be selfish and begin putting this into place. 

I need to focus on myself, that much is for sure. I owe it to myself. My health has borne the brunt of my inability to put myself first, and how many times do I need to be (metaphorically) yelled at before I listen? I have to listen now. I have to.