New Year

So, here we are in 2009. I’ll be the first to admit that I pretty much screwed up 2008. I was pretty much guilty of not being true to myself, and while I know that’s not a crime, it’s certainly not a nice place to be. So, with that, I’m going to write this blog entry almost as musicians write their liner notes in their CDs. I’ll address people individually, and although it may take a similar format, it’s not a list of thank yous. It’s a list of messages. It’s a dangerous trap to fall into, when we don’t say things that should never be left unsaid. I won’t be doing that this year. Not anymore. For those of you who read this, who are true friends, then you’ll know who you are.

Mam & Dad: I know I’ve been a headache at times this year, and I haven’t seemed happy. The truth is that I haven’t been myself really. But now I have a new focus and I promise you – this year will be better and I’ll be happier.

Nan: Your support and love always humbles me. I am truly honoured to be your granddaughter.

Matt: Without getting too personal here (because I know that embarrasses you) I don’t know where I would be without your love and constant support. You’ve held on when I felt like I couldn’t hold on any longer, and for that I am truly grateful. Here’s to the future.

Emma: New friends we might be, but you’ve played a part in my life this year. Through knowing you I’ve found ways to be myself that I never imagined I could find, so I thank you, and I hope our friendship will continue throughout 2009.

Gurm: Where do I start? I love you girl. You provide the laughter and the balance in my life, you’ve always been there for me and I’ll always be there for you.

Kathy: Yes, you get a mention here too my friend. Thank you for the late night webchats and the messages of support. We might be separated by a vast ocean, but our friendship means a lot to me. You help me to see the fun in life.

All those I’ve loved and lost: You might not be here on the physical, but your lights still shine in the astral. I feel your love and your presence every day, I only hope I’ve turned out to be somebody that you’re proud of. Know that I think of you every day, and that my love for you all will never die. Every time I light a candle, I dedicate it to your memories.

To myself: You are good enough and you need to believe that. Forget about aspiring to be someone else – the person you are is unique and special and has a part to play in this world. Everything you do affects someone, you have made a difference to some people’s lives. Just believe, and never be afraid to be who you are.

To those I haven’t mentioned by name: I may have omitted you from this post, but everyone in my life right now is in my heart. You all make a difference to me. Please don’t feel left out – if I wrote to everyone who has touched my heart in some way I’d be writing all year…but your friendship is important to me.

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2 thoughts on “New Year

  1. greetings i dont really know how i found you but the first parragraph of your 2.1.2009 blog is so true of my last year to , hopefully your friend andy…ps hope my email dont offend

  2. Hi there you! After reading this I realise how much you have struggled to be yourself over the years and I get it- really I do! I used to hold grudges but that’s all gone now and I wish you very well and I want you to know how proud I am of you- I know you will be a great teacher because it has always been inside of you, ever since we were best friends in primary school!
    When we went our seperate ways I found it hard but we had to let go. I hope you know you have affected me and the way I live my life even though you might not feel any friendship towards me now.
    Please dont forget me because I havent forgotten you and Id love us to have a coffee together sometime. You know where I am if you agree.
    All my best
    Louise xx

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