It figures that I should become interested in a television show that takes its’ name from a U2 song. I’ve been watching this show on E4 lately and have pretty much gotten caught up in the characters and their stories. So much so that I went out and bought the first season on DVD, which I’ve been watching the last couple of days. This entire post isn’t going to be about the show, but I suppose it’s influenced by it as it’s been making me think quite a bit the last few days. It’s made me wonder why I’ve felt for so long that I should try to be somebody else – a ‘me’ that people want to see. I suppose in a way that watching a TV drama such as this, and learning that every character has their own stories and personality has made me realise that so do I. I might not like myself very much at times, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have something unique to contribute to the world. I struggle with my body, but nobody else on this earth has the same exact one. Some people might think that it’s a bit sad to realise all this just from watching a teen drama on TV, but it doesn’t really matter as it’s happening and I’m realising it, and that’s what is the most important thing.
From this point on I won’t be making any apologies for the way I am, which is a trap I have fallen into all too often in my life so far. This doesn’t mean that I won’t apologise for my actions if I am wrong as I always have and always will. But I’m tired of wanting to be somebody else, I just want to be myself and learn to be comfortable with that.