Thoughts

Well, it’s Friday afternoon. My last shift at work tomorrow night, before two weeks off. I cannot wait. I’m not going anywhere special, mostly just relaxing at home with my other half. We may take a few trips on individual days to pastures new, but mostly it’s about celebrating. And cooking – I plan to cook up a storm on this holiday. I want to try new recipes out and test them with my beloved. If that means a couple of romantic meals, then great. He’s just about starting a new job, which is awesome. So this will be the break before the changes.

*gets distracted by her DVD player* Oh…my…goodness, John Mayer topless. Wow. Ahem, sorry.

I’m feeling relaxed. There is the small matter of my last shift tomorrow, but Saturday nights are usually quite busy and the time generally goes quite quickly. So hopefully it won’t be a big deal. What’s 6.5 hours between me and the love of my life? 🙂

So with that in mind, quite soon I am going to go and make myself look slightly more attractive. Then bellydance class at 7.30, and when I get home, a nice relaxing evening with my parents.

Sunday sunshine

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’ve just given my new car a proper clean. I said goodbye to Betsy about two weeks or so ago, and now I have a green Volkswagen Polo, which I have named Minty. I know, it’s not exactly cool to name your cars, but I don’t care. 🙂 Matt will be coming up to see me later, and perhaps we’ll go out and enjoy the sunshine. At the same time as writing this blog, I am watching the documentary series ‘The Pagans’ on YouTube. I missed them when they were shown on television, so I was really pleased to find four episodes on the website. I’ve been watching them on and off for the last couple of days, but today has been a very Bardic day. Sunday usually is, as I have time to study the Gwersi and relax. I am hoping that the Awen will descend soon as I am eager to start writing poetry again. I feel that is going to be my Bardic outlet, as much as I would love to become a virtuoso mandolin player overnight. 😉 That is perfectly okay with me though – I have missed my poetry and hope it comes back fully. Now and again I get a flash of Awen and compose a one-off delight. I would very much love to do that more often.

It hasn’t been a bad weekend, all in all. I work every Saturday night though, worse luck, so I don’t really make any weekend plans as such. But next weekend begins my two week holiday, although we’re just staying at home. We hope to go out for a couple of trips, ideally I would like to go to Glastonbury if possible. We’re also going to a couple of Cardiff City games and Matt’s leaving do at work. I’m trying to resist the urge to plan too much as it’s supposed to be a relaxing break. I also plan to do lots of cooking the Slimming World way (see my sister blog, http://slimmingkim.wordpress.com for more details on my weight loss journey).  I love cooking but I never get much chance to do it normally as my parents cook the most. Perhaps I will rustle up some Lughnasadh delights.

Love

I watched a TV show this morning where two of the main characters were getting married, and their friends threw them a big pre-nuptials feast. There was a big thing about their relationship and upcoming wedding being a ‘fairytale’ and while it was nice to watch, it didn’t ring true for me. I’m in the happiest relationship I could ever have imagined, but in no way is it or has it ever been a fairytale. Instead it’s real life, and there are times of amazing romance but I’ve never been swept off my feet in the hollywood style. And in all honesty, I prefer it that way. When we first fell in love with each other I expected it to be like that, all sparkle and magic and romance. But it wasn’t. I get tingles when he kisses me, and I love spending time with him and I adore almost everything about him. But it’s not a fairytale. There are arguments, and hard times, and stresses and heartbreakingly sad things we go through. But that’s real. My relationship with nature is much the same. I’ve sat on a beach on a beautiful sunlit evening and smiled and felt amazing and happy. Likewise, I’ve sought out the forest in the pouring rain and wind, crying and screaming ‘Hail!’ into the surroundings.

Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying there aren’t fairytale moments in a relationship. The first kiss is one, perhaps a proposal another. And most certainly the wedding is, if there is one. The fairytale element in love, I suppose, is the fact that it’s quite amazing that at any one time, two people can feel the exact same way about each other. I thought I would never find that. There is immense pleasure and happiness in that.

I suppose nothing is how it looks from the outside looking in, whether that’s Hollywood or television or anything else. To really understand something you have to feel it.